Heartwarming Surprise

Recently we have been discussing the book "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs in our couples bible study. I have learned over the past year that trials get harder the closer you are to a breakthrough, and I believe that is especially true in marriage as well. While discussing this book, my husband, Nate, and I had an interesting conversation last night that left us both realizing that we have fallen short in many areas of our marriage.

Albeit, this realization may seem like a negative revelation, it is actually quite the opposite. It has given us both an opportunity to rise to the occasion and truly give each other the respect and love we desire and need. That said, I was heartwarmingly surprised tonight by the following action that Nate took to show me in his own way, yet in a way that completely melted my heart and spoke my language, that he loves me:

This is a picture taken of our garage wall. As I returned home from a seminar tonight and drove my car into the garage, I saw the above message that Nate had spray painted on our garage wall directly in front of my car. My headlights highlighted this message like bright spotlights, and when I realized what he had done, my eyes teared up and my heart swelled with love and admiration. This truly was a wonderful surprise!

Thank you, Nate, for going out of your way to show me how much I mean to you. I love you with all my heart and soul!

My Mission: Hope and Health!

What an amazing weekend I had!! I spent some time at a Juice Plus bootcamp with close to 70 amazing individuals and I have never felt so excited and motivated in my life! This was the event that I was blessed to speak at as well and I can't express in words the overwhelming feeling that came over me when I finally realized the opportunity I had been given.

Right now I am on vacation at a lake cabin and I have had some time to finally absorb all of the information that was overflowing in my mind from the weekend. The biggest revelation I had this weekend after hearing tons of inspiring stories and personal challenges is that I figured out what my personal mission in life is. Are you ready for this? My personal mission at this point in my life is to realize each and every day the amazing responsibility I have to bring a message of hope and health to everyone I come into contact with.

There is tremendous hope in the message of Jesus Christ and the message of good nutrition and health. Since I possess both of these, it truly is my responsibility to share it. I don't want to hide it and keep it for myself because that would be the biggest failure that this little soul could ever make. So, for the next several months or years, however long it takes, my mission will remain the same. I want to encourage you to find your life's mission. It may change over time but until you finally get it branded in your mind, I encourage you to work on your life mission every day.

My mission: To realize everyday the amazing responsibility I have to bring a message of hope and health to everyone I come into contact with.

Upcoming Speaking Event

So life is anything but boring in my neck of the woods and God is opening up amazing opportunities for me. Next weekend I will be attending a summer boot camp for Juice Plus in Minneapolis. I am so excited to meet more incredible people and learn the latest information about nutrition and healthy living. But the biggest thing that I am excited about is the Sunday morning prayer breakfast. God has given me the opportunity to speak the message that morning and so I am busy preparing for that this week.

It never ceases to amaze me how saying "yes" to God always dramatically changes your life. A year ago I never would have dreamed that I would be given the opportunities that I am now. It's so exciting I can hardly wait to see where life is next year, or 5 years from now for that matter! Please pray for me as I embark on this journey.

I hope you are doing well. Be blessed and be inspired!

Here You Go . . . "Mam!"

Seriously. Am I really old enough to be called "Mam?" Today while working at a coffee shop (the second one of the day mind you), I was greeted with a smile by the overly chipper barista. After he prepared my frozen lemonade he wistfully handed me my straw and exclaimed, "Here you go Mam!"

As I walked to my seat it occurred to me that "Mam" is a fairly common polite word to use; however it did nothing for my ego except make me feel old and it didn't seem to sit well in my mind. At the age of 26, I strongly feel that "Ms. or Miss" would be more appropriate! Yes, I am married, but I still have that young, joyful flare and I certainly don't look old enough to be a "Mam!" I guess I'll chalk it up to my maturity and not think about it again!

What If . . .

Earlier this morning I had the privelege of chatting with an old friend from high school over facebook. It was great to catch up, since we haven't seen each other for about three or four years. We exchanged laughable comments and took a trip down memory lane where we reminisced about shared experiences, the heartbreak of high school relationships, and the life that we now live. And then we started playing the "what if" game. You know, the one where every now and then your trip down memory lane takes an unchartered turn onto an exit marked "what could've been."

We sat there (well, I'm only assuming that my friend sat too since this was all over the computer, but I could be wrong) and discussed the things we would've maybe changed in our past relationships and the opportunities we maybe would've taken instead of letting them fall into the pile of possible regrets. "What if" I would've never broken up with so and so; or "what if" I would've gotten back together with my first love? What if the one that got away would've been the one that stayed forever? What if I never would've lost that prized possession?!

Long after the conversation ended I held onto the "what if" game, and played it inside my own head. What if I would've focused on my future more instead of the boyfriends that I spent so much time with? What if I would've spent more time diving into God's plan for my life instead of dwelling on my own desires? What would've happened if I had gone to college in Springfield, MO instead of staying in Fargo? And what would've happened had I just packed up and took my chances in Nashville or California in the music scene?

I have played the "what if" game many times in my head. I always end up at the same conclusion though. None of the "what if's" matter. What matters are the things I am doing right now, and the things I have learned from my past. I wouldn't change anything about my past because it has made me who I am. I am so much stronger today because of the heartbreak, the losses, the successes, and the failures of my past. Had I changed anything about my past, I wouldn't have met my wonderful husband, and I wouldn't be happily married going on 6 years.

The "what if" game can lead you into dangerous territory, my friend, if you're not careful. It can cause your heart to long for the good memories of the past and forget the bad ones. Instead of dwelling about the "what if's" of the past, I think I'm going to focus on the "what if's" of my future. What if my dreams really do come true - now wouldn't that be a "what if" to cherish!

Shopping Ban of 2008

In January of this year I made a vow to stop doing the one thing that brought me instant gratification, (not to mention instant debt) - SHOPPING!

Yep, I decided that this would be the year I cure the shopping addiction that had been growing over the last several years. You know, the addiction where you actually dream of that pair of red stilleto heals until finally they live in your well stocked closet, yet you don't wear them for fear of ruining them in the rain or the mud. Or that constant need to buy every single shade of gray suit you see at the Limited because it will look amazing on you, even though you already have 3 gray suits that are now collecting dust because you don't have enough reasons to wear them.

Yep, I had a problem, and since recognizing that problem is the first step in recovery, I figured the second step would be to stop cold turkey! So, I have been adhering to the following guidelines for 7 months now:

1. Unless it is a necessity, I don't need to buy it.(clothes, shoes, earrings, necklaces, etc. - however makeup does not count because that, in my world, is a necessity, and has never been my addiction.)

2. The only acception to this shopping ban is if someone gives me money and puts stipulations on it such as when it can be used and what for.

That being said, this past Saturday, after several months of stearing clear of the mall and any sales that would tempt me, I went shopping. I was given some money from my grandma last week and was told that I can't save it, but instead I need to buy myself some clothes. (Not sure if she was trying to tell me something about my wardrobe, but I wasn't about to waste this opportunity.

So there I was in the mall, cash in hand, and ready for the hunt. There was just one problem - I wasn't finding a lot of prey out there to add to my collection. You see, since I've stopped shopping, I've stopped dreaming about things that I don't need. I've stopped obsessing over every cute outfit in a catalog and I've found that I am beginning to be more picky about what ends up in my wardrobe. I have come to care more about what I spend my money on.

I have to say, this shopping ban is something I wasn't sure I could pull off. But I'm finding that the changes in my attitude, and more importantly the changes in my heart, are well worth the sacrifice of having the perfect outfit. God is teaching me so much during this time of no shopping, that I don't even have the desire to shop. I just don't think about it anymore. And you know what? It's very liberating!

Reflections

Where has the time gone? It seems we just got back from our trip to Portland, and already a month has actually gone by! Time goes by so fast, and sometimes I just get swept up in the current. Recognizing this pattern, today I decided to stop, smell the roses, and truly be present in my current place of
inhabitance, even if it was a bit difficult. . .

For anyone that knows me really well, it will be no surprise to you that I love the ocean. There's something about standing on a beach and staring out at the open sea that is calming to my soul. I really could never explain it until I took some time to ponder it this morning. I decided this week to take a half hour out of my morning and walk, but instead of bringing my i-pod with I have found that praying is much more appropriate for me. So, this morning, I walked, prayed and discovered the answer to the question: "Why is the ocean so calming to me?" This is a question that I have been pondering for the last six months. Ever since we returned from Hawaii, I have had this longing to go back (more so than any other time in my life). I'm not quite sure why, but I think I understand it a little bit better after this morning.

I have started to try finding beauty in the world that I am currently residing in (i.e. North Dakota). Sometimes this is hard to do. This morning on my walk I looked at the blue sky with fluffy clouds, the green grass still twinkling with morning dew, and the small trees around my neighborhood and realized that it truly is beautiful. But then I remembered Canon Beach in Oregon and the beaches in Hawaii and it seemed that ND doesn't even hold a candle to the majestic feeling of being by the ocean.

I guess when I took the time to really search for the answer, it came down to one truth. In my seemingly small world, I get caught up in the busyness. Work gets in the way, chores pile up, and before I know it I have gone months without taking the time to really enjoy my surroundings and be thankful for them. When I'm by an ocean, however, it is not like that. I sit for hours staring at the crashing waves and soaking up the sun (or, as in Oregon, staring at the crashing waves and shivering because it is cloudy, cold, and misty). I don't have pending projects or schedules and I can just be . . . and that's when I hear it.

In those moments when I have been by the ocean, I hear God's voice even more clear that I hear it at home or at church. It's a whisper in the breeze or a small, calm feeling in the sound of a crashing wave. I hear it so clearly in that atmosphere that when I get home to my regular routine, it gets drowned out, and my soul begins to miss the surroundings that seem to welcome a sense of just being.

Nate and I have come to the conclusion that some day we would like to live by an ocean, even if it is just for a few months out of the year. Until then, I have found that I need to create those moments of meditation and appreciation for my surrounding environment myself. I have to admit, it has felt good these last three days to hear God's voice during my morning walk. To get out of the house, forget about chores and clients, and just be.

I want to encourage you, whatever point in life you are in - make time to spend being present in your environment. Even for just a half hour. You'll find that your soul is greatly refreshed and your world truly is beautiful.